It’s funny how, when we are young, we experience things that we do not fully understand until we are older. I was the class clown in school. There was nothing that made me more happy than making others laugh. Whether I got thrown out of the classroom or jumped into a prickly bush, no stakes were too high. To an extent, I still enjoy getting a laugh out of people. Even if it is at my own expense.
But the happiness didn’t last.
What I didn’t understand when I was younger was that humor was my attempt to fill the void. The void that was there when I woke up, and there when I closed my eyes to go to sleep each night. All I wanted was love and acceptance. I wanted to feel significant…like my life mattered.
As I entered college, the attempt of ways to fill this void grew in number. Perhaps, because the void was growing. But nothing seemed to satisfy. I started to find my identity in relationships and personal success. I would look to the future and say things like:
If I just get these new clothes
If I just become this person’s friend
If I just meet someone
If I just make this money
If I just get a lot of likes on this picture
If I just get this job
If I just get this grade
Then I’ll be happy. Then I’ll feel loved, accepted, significant, and content. Then I’ll feel whole.
Some of these things happened, and some of them didn’t. Either way, I still ended up with the same feeling. Empty. The highs came and they went because they were temporary. And when they left, I started the search for a new high- a new thing to fill the void.
Despite my best efforts, nothing worked. I began to grow tired and weary of constantly searching for something that made me feel loved and accepted. This is when I came to the realization that only God can make us feel whole.
Every day we wake up with a void inside of us. Just because we are Christians, doesn’t mean that this void is automatically filled with Christ. We have to make an active choice to put God in the forefront of our minds.
He made each and every one of us unique. He loves and accepts us no matter where we’ve come or what we’ve done. And he has a PURPOSE for each of our lives. A purpose that he has specifically chosen us for. He is the reason we live, and his love isn’t temporary.
Live for God. Let Him fill you up. Read the Word. Pray as if there is actually someone listening- because there is. And He will always be there, ready to help you up when you’ve fallen down. Even if the fall was because you were trying to reach that temporary high.
Until we’ve been made whole one day, we will always wake up every morning with a void inside of us. Something missing. What are you choosing to fill that void with? Maybe it’s a job, material wealth, Instagram likes, or sports stats. The thing that all of these have in common is that they will never satisfy. You’ll always want more. The grass will always be greener on the other side.
Every day is a choice. I don’t always choose right, but when I do, I choose to fill that void with Christ. I want to be filled up by falling into the arms of the one who has loved and accepted me first and always.